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April 7, 2007
I was so excited about going to my first COTC conference but I did not
realize what a life changing experience it would be.
During the conference, another minister expressed the
desire to be baptized by the Ministerial Unit. He had previously been
baptized but it was a terrible experience. Suddenly all the past
frustrations, pain, and anger about my Southern Baptist experiences came
flooding over me.
When I was about 11 years old, I went to my first Baptist
church. Understand that my mother and father did not preach hell and
brimstone to me but the church did. There I encountered a fear based angry
God mentality. There and in another Baptist church, I was taught if you
didn’t believe in Jesus Christ as your savior, you were going to hell. I
remember going up to be baptized with my family. I never knew why I went
until my older sister told me that my father had decided that we would all
be baptized together. With only love in his heart, I guess he wanted to make
sure we were all going to heaven. So there I was about to be baptized and me not believing
in Jesus as my savior. I felt so terrible lying to God, whoever he was. I
just knew I was going to Hell. I was also taught about the rapture and
Revelations. They even had this movie for us to watch about what would
happen to you if you didn’t believe in Jesus and the rapture came. I was so
scared that many times when I was out with my family and I lost sight of
them, I knew that they had all been taken up and I was left here on Earth.
I was scared out of my mind.
Instead of the churches scaring me into submission, I turned my back on God
for many years and lived a wild life. I took my getting ill to see God as
the Creator truly is. A loving parent. A guiding hand. I still didn’t go to
"church", because I would become so emotionally disturbed with uncontrolled
crying. Slowly through the years, I peeled away the onion layers of pain,
frustration, and anger. I got into the metaphysical world and later became a
Reiki master. I had wonderful teachers along the way that gave me tidbits of
wisdom which became keys to unlocking my spirituality, restoring my faith in
God, our Creator source.
A
teacher and very close friend of mine, Rosemarie Willaford told me about
COTC. I met Angela, James, and Athena and I knew I had finally found a
Divine Home here on Earth. I later recognized the call, and through
Ordination, Anointed, Commissioned as a COTC Associate Minister. I guess
that is enough background for you to see what came back to me that day at
the COTC conference.
I thought I had pretty much peeled a bunch of layers but
at that instant I realized I had so much left. I then spoke up and explained
a little bit and asked if I could be baptized also. Shortly after that
another minister also requested baptism.
Saturday,
Angela and James with Laura assisting performed the baptism. It was a real
baptism. That’s all I can say about it. A real baptism. As Angela and James
laid their hands on me and spoke I was overwhelmed with the grief being
released, knowing it wasn't just for me, but, for who I represent. Applying
Divine Law, One can represent many, when choosing to do so, as I chose that
day. I forgot to breathe until Angela told me to breathe and guided me
in such a loving and nurturing way. I finally was able to control my crying
(good crying that is) and feel such a complete feeling of peace. Angela and
James anointed me with oils and prayed. The agape hugs they gave filled me
up and I beamed with joy and laughter. Joy for the Creator source I had
finally found. It seems strange to write that but I guess I was able to be
so divinely connected to our beloved parent in such a pure way. The next day
was Easter Sunday and I thought of the second
coming of Christ and realized that all the pain was truly gone. All of it!
All that was left was joy.
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